Warning: Rant

Whenever people have asked me how many siblings I have, I have always said two brothers even though I wasn't really raised with my older half-brother and I very much am the quintessential eldest child. I no longer feel the need to include my older brother in my family. I understand that you have emotional problems that require doctors and medication, I get that. What bothers me is that nothing is ever going right in your life...EVER. You are Eeoyre times 1000. This is why no one can stand being around you. You have absolutely nothing nice to say and the conversation always has to revolve around you and how miserable your life is. You don't like your life go and change it. My little brother and I weren't handed a silver spoon (contrary to what you believe). We worked hard for the success and happiness that we enjoy today.

How dare you speak to our father, the man who has given you chance after chance, like he has never cared for you. You are 37 fucking years old...when are you going to grow up? My father is beside himself because he probably feels bad for hanging up on you. I don't. He should have hanged up on you a long time ago. You have made so many poor decisions in your life and yet you still got money, a car, moved back in with them, etc. When you were too self-absorbed to give anyone a call back, your father, step-mother and sister drove to RI to make sure you weren't dead, yet no one cares or has done anything for you.

Perhaps the crowning achievement in your incredible immaturity was deciding to post for pity on facebook.

"with "family" like that, who needs a family...what a waste of time "family" is"

Wow. Then to tell our father that you don't want to ruin his picture perfect family (meaning my father, mother, younger brother and I) and that he's never been there for you is insane. Apparently you need to go back on your meds and get your head out of your ass.

If you don't need "family" like us, then we sure as hell don't need an immature, miserable, druggie waste-of-space like you. Some people might think it's sad that my child will only have one biological uncle, but my child will have plenty of non-blood related people in its life who will love him/her. I wouldn't want my kid to be around someone as toxic as you.

We're Pregnant :)

So after a year and 1/2 of trying to get pregnant, it finally happened!! I like to joke that my vagina likes to kill any and all sperm...hence why the IUI worked. We are so excited that baby West will be joining us sometime around May 2nd. I'm about 9 1/2 weeks along and that ultrasound pic was from our appointment today. Our little gummy bear is measuring right on target and has a strong heartbeat of 173. It was surreal seeing it up on the screen. It's taken us so long that I didn't really believe it until today. We're very excited as we embark on this incredible experience together. I have more pics but my internet connection sucks and blogger wouldn't let me upload anymore. Hopefully I'll have more next time!

Irene Is a Hooker

My power came on around midnight...after 6, yes you read that correctly, days of no power. The funny thing is that Irene downgraded to a tropical storm by the time it hit us and we didn't even get the brunt of it (VT is under water). The wonderful power company that supplies power to the majority of people in CT apparently didn't think that there would be widespread outages so they didn't have enough crew members to fix things. I'm one of the lucky ones who still had running/hot water. We use natural gas to heat our home and am so glad that I was at least able to take a hot shower. I was lucky enough that some of my friends managed to get their power back before I did so I was able to do laundry and charge electronics (thanks Kim and Samantha). I think the worst part for me was receiving an email from my husband informing me that the higher ups on the boat told them that things were fine back home and Irene wasn't all that bad. Right....jerks.

I whined a lot, but am grateful that my house is perfectly fine and that the fur babies and I are healthy. My mom's cousin is stranded at his house in VT because a bridge washed away and he has no way of leaving. Whole towns are cut off, houses are condemned and life will never be the same for a lot of people. We should all pray to whatever we believe in that these people get the help that they need.

Because Navy Life Isn't Stressful Enough...

My husband and I have a subscription to the Navy Times. I get it once a week so between that and my membership to the Submarine Wives Club, I stay relatively informed. With all of the spending cuts going around in this country I figured that the defense department needed to trim some of their spending. They take up a huge, if not the biggest, portion of our budget and I absolutely agree that cuts need to be made. I wasn't expecting that the first thing they would go after was our retirement. Let me first start out by stating that the DOD (Department of Defense for those civilians who read this and are not familiar with the bizillion acronyms that the military uses) have come up with this proposal; it is not a Democrat or Republican thing. Basically, they are proposing an immediate overhaul to military retirement and will only partially grandfather those who are serving now into the old system. My husband is at the 12-year point in his career. Under the current retirement system we would get half of his base pay/month for the rest of his life if he retires at 20 years. If you serve beyond 20 years you get a small percentage increase every to your retirement every year beyond twenty. What they are now proposing is that someone who has served 10-15 years like my husband, and stays in until 20 years will receive 25% of the old retirement plan. The military would also place money into a TSP (thrift savings plan-we already have one of these..it's like a 401k/IRA) that we wouldn't be able to draw on until age 60-ish.

Um...what? This was my first reaction, shortly followed by tears and rage. How dare they compare us to the private sector! My husband has served his country for the past 12 years and the only reason we stayed in past the 10-year mark was for retirement benefits. Every year, when things get rough (which happens often), we always look at each other and say that we only have x amount of years left and then things will get better. Then we can truly live our lives together. We have plans. We plan to build a dream house someday and to have a comfortable life. I feel like those plans are going to unravel.

This lifestyle cannot be compared to anything in the civilian sector (except for maybe contractors that work in war zones). My husband is gone often. Last year, I think he was home for a total of three months...most likely less. I have to worry about him chasing after Russian submarines and knowing that if something goes wrong under the ocean, they can't exactly swim to the surface. I can't imagine what other military wives feel whose husbands are on the front lines.

Speaking of military wives, our husbands' retirement is our retirement too. Many of us sacrifice having careers, getting an education, etc. because we move so often and become single parents. I'm lucky that my husband's second sea tour is five years long. Had he been promoted or if things change, we could have easily had to move. I worry all the time about moving and if I can find a teaching position because no one likes to hire someone that moves every few years.

There are so many other places in the defense department where cuts can be made. We can bring our troops home and stop getting involved in wars that are draining our coffers. The government can start making its own parts needed by the military. That would create civilian jobs and save them money. I hear, all the time, from my brother (Air Force) and husband that the private companies who make the parts that the military uses charge an insane amount of money. Parts that cost about $4 to make are being sold for over $100. There are plenty of other places to save money in the military. I implore our leaders to look there first before attacking retirement.

If this proposal passes, which I'm not entirely sure that it will, current service members should be grandfathered in to what they were promised. Anything else would be completely unfair and a breach of contract. I'm pretty sure that some high profile lawyers would love to take on a case like this pro bono. Write to your elected officials and tell them how you feel. If that doesn't work, I'll be more than happy to drive a bunch of angry military wives down to D.C. :)

http://dbb.defense.gov/pdf/DBB_Military_Retirement_Final_Presentationpdf.pdf

Here We Go Again

So I know that I suck at life and never update. I kind of feel like I don't need to when most of the people who regularly check in on here are also my friends on facebook. Nevertheless, with my husband gone for the first time in almost 8 months, I think it's time to start going at it again. I attempted to give my blog a makeover, but finding/creating blog templates is not easy. Alas, this was the best that I could do. I tried to format the header so a picture of us would be in the frame, but blogger was being pissy and wouldn't let me upload it.

Things are moving along in the West household. We had a wonderful summer, full of adventures! After missing our favorite music event for the past 3 years, we finally made it back to Mountain Jam. It was four, fun-filled days of music, camping and meeting new people. We even got to zipline down the mountain :)

Since the boat cannot adhere to any sort of schedule, my plan to take Jimmy to a concert at Red Rocks was cancelled. Instead, we went to Ireland! We spent a week driving around and seeing whatever our little hearts desired :) It was definitely a wonderful vacation and will be hard to top.

We are still trying to conceive a child. I started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist at Yale Fertility Center. He has me on 50 mg of clomid (even though I ovulate on my own). It didn't work last month so this month I decided to be a little more aggressive and had two IUIs (intra-uterine insemination). We weren't sure if Jimmy would be home for ovulation this cycle so we had his swimmers frozen. I then went in and had them stick a catheter into my uterus and inject his thawed little dudes. I'm grateful that it didn't hurt, but am not happy that we shelled out $1400 for it. The wonderful military insurance known as Tricare does not pay for artificial insemination. It's really expensive and if we do in-vitro, we are looking at shelling out around 12k. I can't do that until I'm done student teaching so we are looking at around January if I don't get pregnant before then.

It's exhausting. I see people all around me get pregnant at the drop of a hat and I can't. There is no medical reason why I shouldn't get pregnant, which makes it that much more frustrating. The absolute worst is having people tell you to just relax. I have one friend who I can't talk to about it anymore because she repeatedly tells me to stop stressing about it. I'm not in school, just got back from a great vacation and have had my husband home for 8 months. How much more relaxed am I supposed to be?

On a better note I'm 40 lbs. lighter than I was in February and I start student teaching in a few weeks. I'm really excited that this is the last thing that I have to do before I can start my teaching career. I can't wait to work...seriously.

I'm going to try my best to post more often, but don't hold your breath!

Update

So things have been a bit hectic the past month or so and there won't be an end until mid-May when the semester is over. On top of my more than normal course load I have 60 hours of classroom observation that needs to be completed. I split my observation time between New Britain High School and a bilingual middle school just down the road from me. They are both very different schools and the more time I spend at them, the more I prefer the middle school. While most people I know don't prefer that age group, I like that they still have a bit of child left in them. I'm hoping that if I do a pretty good job there they might have a spot for me once I finish my certification.

On a more personal note we've started the journey into infertility testing. My husband doesn't seem to be the problem so I've met with an OB GYN and go in for a procedure next week where they shoot dye through my uterus and fallopian tubes while taking x-rays to see if I have any polyps or blockages. I know that the problem doesn't have to do with ovulation so I'm hoping that they find something and can fix it so we can move on. It's been really hard month after month seeing others get pregnant so easily while we've been trying to for a long time with no luck. While I'm not a fan of these invasive procedures, if it can get me to have a baby, then I'll do what I need to do. I just wish it would happen the old fashioned way.

I'm happy to report that I've lost 18 lbs. in a little over a month and am still going strong. I wanted to hit 20 lbs. by sub ball and it looks like I'll hit that goal. I'm excited that I'm looking and feeling better so hopefully I'll be a rocking a pretty smokin' bod by summer time :) I'll try updating more, but no promises, until after my semester of homework, classroom observation and doctor appointments is over.

Friday Fill-in

Got this off of another military spouse's blog. You can link up here.

This week’s questions are:

1. During military separations (whether short or long) how do you keep yourself positive and motivated? submitted by Married/Single Parent

This past deployment some of my friends from the boat and I decided to have something fun planned every month. One month we did a lobster bake at a local winery, another month it was Cocktails with the Whales at the aquarium, etc. It gave us something to look forward to. I am also busy with grad school. I think one of the best things that someone can do is to get a job/go to school/get a hobby. Something that will take you out of the house and will keep you busy.

2. What is your favorite concert you have ever been to? submitted by Young but Not (Completely) Dumb
I have been to over 100 concerts and my husband has his count at over 300. We do these a lot when he isn't out to sea. My favorite, if I had to pick, would probably be either David Gilmour (from Pink Floyd) at Radio City Music Hall or Coldplay. David Gilmour is such a phenomenal musician and my husband and I were lying on the lawn of an amphitheater...just listening to Coldplay and looking up at the stars. It was a nice, mellow concert.

3. What do you miss most about your “hometown”? submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier
I grew up near Lake George and Saratoga Springs, NY. I mostly miss being close to my friends from school. I also miss the insane amount of good food found in Saratoga. There are so many restaurants and the atmosphere in that town is great.

4. If you could run in any race, which charity would you choose to support? submitted by Wookie & Co.

Something to support women's rights or bettering public education for children living in areas with little economic support,

5. You find out Willy Wonka is your father, what 3 course meal do you INSIST he create in that stick of gum? submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench

Appetizer: Baked brie with apple slices and crackers

Main Course: Roasted duck with fig compote and grilled vegetables

Dessert: Sweet potato pie

Show Us Your Rings :)

So I noticed that Briana posted this over on her blog and decided to join in myself. You can join up to over at Mrs. Yellow Ribbon's blog

Did you look at rings together?

We picked out my engagement ring right after we got married. Yep, you heard right. We eloped 9 days after he came home from deployment and while we picked out our band immediately, I couldn't find a ring that I liked. So after we did the deed we went to a lo

cal jeweler and low and behold, there was my ring

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?...and be honest!

Of course :) We both saw it and went "ooooo". He told me that he would have picked something just like it out if he had gone by himself.

How often do you wear your rings?

My fingers, for some reason or other, feel the need to swell when I sleep or if I go to the gym. So I don't wear them at night and I take them off before I go to the gym. Other than that, they stay on.

Do you clean your rings?

I clean them myself about once a month. I hate it when it gets really gross and dirty.

What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?

I have never seen something sparkle so much before!

Spring is in the Air?!

Oh my goodness, the forecast for this week is fantastic! It's going to be in the forties all week and even the high fifties on Friday. Thank God! This winter has been rough so far, with so many snowstorms and some really cold days. It makes me long for sunshine and flip flops. My first two weeks of this semester saw three of my classes cancelled due to bad weather. I shouldn't complain but this is probably my busiest semester yet and I actually need some class time in order to figure out what the heck I need to do. I have 60 hours of classroom observation that I need to complete. I've already met my teacher that I'll be working with and was able to help proctor an ESL assessment exam the other day. The school I'm working in is in an urban area, which is much different than where I went to school and the school that I've substituted in. I'm really excited about it though because I feel that it is important for teachers to step outside their comfort zone in order to become great educators. I'm sure I'll have some great stories by the end of this semester.

Jimmy is out to sea...again. Yep, apparently being home for a month and a half is long enough before they send them out again. Luckily, this is the last underway for a long, long time. We need this time together to be married and have a semi-normal life. We've been arguing lately and I'd like to sit down and figure stuff out instead of communicating through emails. He's putting in for an officer program that I'm not really excited about. I was even less excited when I realized that by the time he would be done with the training, etc...he would go straight to a carrier. So, that's two more years of sea duty when we should be doing a shore tour. Yeah, um, no thanks. I have friends who are officer's wives and the life doesn't appeal to me. I understand that they get paid more but they move every 2 1/2 years and I'm not big on all of the forced Navy get-togethers. I can't have a career if I'm moving that often. So, we have a lot to discuss and I'm not really looking forward to it.

Other than that, things are moving along in the West household. I'm planning all sorts of things for this summer, including a mini-trip for Jimmy's 30th birthday. I can't believe he's turning 30, considering we met when he was 24. He is going to love his birthday surprise and will be counting his lucky stars that he has such an awesome wife.

I'll leave my readers with this lovely picture of Floyd, right after he came back in from frolicking through the snow :) He's pretty cute, isn't he?

A new year :)

So, as I'm sure you can tell due to the lack of updates, my husband has returned home. He just went back to work today after two weeks of leave. We've been so busy the past month that it has flown by and though we didn't get much accomplished around the house, we did get to see family on both sides and got to travel to some fun places. We just got back from visiting his family in CA and WA. We drove from Oakland, CA all the way up to Tacoma, WA. The drive up the coast was incredibly beautiful and we stopped in Napa, the Redwoods, and Portland, OR. We had a wonderful time visiting everyone but we're happy to be home in our little bubble. We left 50 degree weather to come home to about 3 feet of snow. Apparently the weather here has been a little crazy and I'm hoping it stops before school starts up for me next week. This will be my last full semester of classes (I'm taking two this summer, but I love summer classes so I don't count them) and I'm so excited to be done with that. I student teach in the fall (unless I get pregnant) and then I'll pretty much be done. It will be nice once I'm finally finished with everything.

So my hopes for this new year are to be happier and healthier, and to hopefully get pregnant. I've been off the pill for a year now but with my husband being gone for the majority of last year, we didn't get much of a chance to try. It's been a little hard seeing so many people I know get pregnant super easily and I'm on cycle 4 of trying. I'm hoping now that Jimmy is home things will happen but you never know. We're both headed to the doctors soon if it doesn't work. They say that couples our age should wait a year before seeing a doctor but with my husband's schedule of being gone all of the time, we never have an entire year to try. So, we'll fib a bit and make sure that nothing is wrong with either of us. I'm looking forward to a great 2011 and wish the same to all of you!